Your Torch

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In my new context it feels like I have entered another world. In stark comparison to my upbringing, and how circumstances and context shaped me to be innovative and creative and make a plan in some incredibly challenging situations, I am now meeting more and more of the mindset “someone else must make a plan for me”. “Someone else must do the work”, “Someone else must provide the answers”, “Someone else must spoon-feed me whilst I do the least amount of work possible”, “The responsibility is not mine”, “Someone else is to blame”, “It was their fault, it is their fault, it is not my fault” (like passing the buck is going to solve anything or help anyone – so annoying!) … on and on and on it appears to be entering my space; especially in my teaching role where learners want marks for doing barely anything (for example: I’m talking about learners using a calculator to do their two times table!), people want more pay and rewards for doing less work, people want the system to change (often to help them to do less work), but want other people to action it and make it change whilst they just go on and on and on talking, moaning and grumbling about it… and physically doing to make change happen.

 

After much prayer in my frustration and lack of capacity to spoon feed the academic and practical needs of dozens and dozens of learners, God sent me a very practical image and when I went about demonstrating the vision to some of my learners, the effect was quite something: There were lights starting to twinkle in their understanding, if only for a moment. A seed of thought has at least been planted.

 

In case it may assist someone else, the image was of a torch.

 

I placed the torch on a classroom desk, pointing upwards.

I then asked the learners: “Right, is the desk giving the torch its light?” The response was “No.”

“Am I, the ‘important’ teacher, giving the torch the power to shine?” No, again.

“Is the learner closest to the torch giving it the power to shine?” No.

“Is all of your joint power giving the torch the power to shine?” No.

And so on with regards to sunlight, chairs, etc, depending on the level of the learners.

 

“Ok, so none of this is giving the torch the power to shine. So what is then?”

“Ah, ma’am, it’s the batteries! The batteries are giving it its power!”

“Correct! You are like this torch boys and girls. I am not going to make you shine, I can’t give you the power to shine, you have to do it on your own. Your parents can’t, your friends can’t, you have to choose to use your own batteries to shine. You have to find good things to charge your batteries with so that your light can shine bright and strong, no matter what darkness comes along.”

 

The voices were quiet, but the eyes showed me they got it, some seniors even let out a huge breath and gave a “Sh-oe”…

 

I carried on. I turned the torch off and asked them what was happening. “The light is off Ma’am.”

I turned it on, “And now?”

“It’s on Ma’am.”

I repeated this a few times.

Then I concluded with: “Some of you are walking around completely switched off, please stop it. Please choose to charge your batteries in good places, on good energy and turn your light on: be aware, find the joy inside you, find the creativity, responsibility and awesomeness that live inside you and please choose to let them shine out to light up your lives and the lives of others. Please choose to walk around switched on.”

Happy 5th Birthday !

Hard to believe that it was FIVE YEARS ago that I started this site and thought that it would be “strictly” for my book “Eish! London”.

Instead it has become more of a single positioned marker for my journey as a human being; observing all that goes on around me and making note of certain parts through writing about them. Opinions, thoughts, happy moments, sad moments, angry ones… all just moments, a bit of time represented through my eyes and words. Whilst at the same moment of time, everyone else belonging to the 7 billion plus people on planet earth, is experiencing something different in their own moment, in their own story, with their own characters, in their own setting…

I have often wondered if it is even worth journalling here, because it gets swallowed up amongst all the other ones and zeros that make up the millions of sites and articles all over the internet… it’s only my story, my moment in that moment; who would ever read it, or come back to it, or even remember it, except me?

Maybe, on some level, another has read it (a post of mine), related to it and felt more ok with themselves, who they are, why they are, what they are up to and why they are up to it, because of it. Maybe one of the entries has touched someone, somewhere and made them feel ok about what they are thinking and how they are feeling, and/or what they are going through…maybe, then again, maybe not.

Still, I feel it in me to keep this going, keep posting every now and then, to put a bit of me out into the vast nothingness of indefinable space and time, if for no-one else in the end, maybe just for me, just to mark the fact that I was here, that I lived and breathed and experienced too, and that my living created something… maybe even something good…

“Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could… so somewhere in my youth, or childhood, I”… hope I have done something good.

Stay blessed, Thanks for reading and HAPPY 5th Birthday to my site… for someone who has been told she doesn’t follow through with things, this birthday month is a significant one.

God bless!

This too shall pass

“This too shall pass”: so many meanings and levels to it; many dynamics and interpretations.

“Shall pass”, as in: be accepted by God and “pass” the test of life.

As in: It shall all end at some point, “pass” away.

As in: It shall all be traveled through / over, like the Drakensberg “Pass”, “Sani Pass” or any mountain “pass”.

Everything “this too” shall be celebrated as it is with “Pass” Over, all shall be taken care of and joyously remembered as the horrid “past” it was, for the purpose of creating gratitude for being saved and taken away from the horror, and for the sake of remembering to take nothing for granted.

As in: shall get a “Pass” book, and be able to step into the kingdom of Heaven, with the “Pass” stamped, with the “Pass” that says you are allowed into this area, you are allowed to enjoy.

As in: A Disneyland “Pass”, the ticket has been paid for, Jesus stepped in and paid for the ticket that offers a pass to Heaven, to joy, to Wonderland, to all that has been created for enjoyment…

“This too shall pass”… This Too, as in all that has happened before has “Passed”; it has achieved progression to the next level, it has “Passed”, lived in the past and survived, just as my ‘now’ shall become ‘passed’ and thus be in the past and I shall ‘too’ survive once again.

FASCINATING. I think that this is the reason that the Bible is a LIVING Word, Good News, The Way to connect to God, and applicable to every human in all their situations. Wherever you are, whoever you are, you can apply, interpret, understand and be part of the journey, the truth and the complexity of God’s awesomeness, God’s great Word Choice and HIS story, history.

This is also where I hum and ah, and sigh, and shake my head at those controlling individuals who stand up and expect The Bible to have one meaning alone for every scripture. Anyone who does that makes me skeptical about their belief system and whether or not it is about God and His glory, or about that man and his desire to have things his way to accommodate his ego. It makes me think that the scientists and people who say it must be black and white, it must be proven to be one way and not another, are missing the plot completely, they don’t ‘get it’. They don’t get it that God is BIGGER, MIGHTIER, SMARTER, SUPERIOR to ALL, and not something / someone who anyone can confine to a piece of paper, a blog, a sermon, a single meaning, a single dynamic. A single “right answer” or “correct way”.

God is a being, not a list of rules, not a concept that can be confined, defined, scribed into a single form or list. Bigger than us, greater than us and so much more awesome than anyone who fills their Instagram page with photos of themselves, believing that they are the only thing on the planet worth photographing. . .

And I like it that way, no, I LOVE it that way. I LOVE that my God is greater, bigger, smarter and more superior to all that is on earth. I LOVE it that it means I have the highest, most challenging goal in the WORLD to aspire to – The Greatest. I can never get there, achieve such greatness or be that incredible, but it means I will ALWAYS, without fail, have a goal to work towards, ALWAYS. I will always have a purpose to serve and a reason to be: “To step up to be a higher version of me.” I can also never be broken by the flaws of man, the brokenness, the lies, the gossip, and the worldly fences that force people into ‘boxes’, because I KNOW that it shall pass, I KNOW that God will reign, will let it end, will show me Disneyland, will open wonders for me beyond human understanding, and offer me peace beyond human understanding, because MY GOD is not human, and does not have human flaws and does not need ANYTHING to BE WHO HE IS… unlike humans, who need so very much…

I pray that all who read this yearn, desire and make the move to step out of the constructs of this limited world and jump into the limitless realms of the perpetual goal and purposeful living of being a higher version of themselves and living in peace beyond human understanding.

 

God or Imagination? My wishful thinking or God’s Will?

“How to catch a Prince” by Rachel Hauck – ‘The Royal Wedding Series’. Page 293:

“He touched his finger to his lower lip, where the buzzing hint of her presence remained. He splashed his face again and tried to rub the buzz from his lip. When he snatched the hand towel from the bar to dry his face, the sensation of her touch had not diminished, but intensified. “Forgiven” . The word strafed his heart.”

I read that – remembering all my wishes over the last plus five years, confused over the buzz of post-kissing itchiness, for a kiss that never happened, on own my lips. How I have also been unable to wash away the burning… “buzzing” – why didn’t I think of that word?

Page 340:

“Esteemed guests… Thank you for being here… when I came home, broken from an intense battle, I felt I wasn’t worthy of her (his bride). So I sent her away… For over five years, she dealt with her pain alone, but through a series of divine events, we came together again… She loved me when I showed her no regard. When I rebuffed and rejected her. She loved me well. She loved me to Jesus, where I finally discovered what it meant to be a man of worth. So I want the whole world to know I love this woman!”

This hasn’t happened to me – but still, I pray for one man often, under my normal prayers my Spirit cries out for him regularly, that he would find God, Jesus’s Crucifix and Page 315 “moment by moment… become the man he’d always longed to be.”

The book ends with the Acknowledgements section… echoing my health problems and challenges and constant blockades to being able to sit and write…:

“I found myself in a physical battle while creatively struggling with this story. Not a good combination. Yet through it all, by God’s grace, I maintained my writing goals until my deadline, climbing to my office every day after a weak night of sleep, facing the page and writing despite my feelings, despite physical weakness.

As I prayed over this book, I felt the Lord would fill the “empty spaces” for each of you, telling you His own unique story to your heart. So ask Him. “Lord, what do you have for me as I read this book?”

God loves story. And He loves to speak to us through every aspect of our lives…”

“Fill the ‘empty spaces’”… bizarre how things unfold. How moments visit me and seem to be pregnant with hidden meaning and Godly presence, and then I look up from the realm of the written, the spaces imbedded books, the TV, DVDs, my imagination and all that seems to shout out about a different story to the one I’m physically living; and I don’t know which is the truth. If I am honest with myself, the quoted-above book screamed truth at me, echoed my 5 years of torment, of not being able to understand, not being able to seal and/or shut away the presence of what, if it wasn’t so ridiculous, if it was a completely different scenario, if it made any realistic sense in anyway, I would term: “Love”. At my sister’s wedding, where I was a bridesmaid, the pastor spoke of God Being Love, of marriage being a replica of that Love, how even when God isn’t physically there, you know He is, you know Love is, you can feel it, sense it, almost touch it. The pastor said that in a marriage of true love, even when the other half is not there physically, their love IS still there, their presence is still there, the Love is always there…

Other moments have happened too, that have reflected similar sentiments in echoing exactly what I am feeling / experiencing; moments that are inexplicably exact echoes of my being, my life and context. All it has served to do is pile on insecurity, being completely unsure, ridiculously doubtful, whilst at the same time, being filled with another force that holds nothing but conviction that it is truth. Conviction that it is God-incidence, part of an incredible story all for God’s Glory… which wavers under: Your wishful thinking dear?

Sitting on this fence – one side my soul and ‘fantasy’, the other side cold, hard, depression-creating ‘reality’. Which side to fall into? My being is tired and aching from 5 years in this position: squatting on a fence. If I fall into reality, it becomes lonely. If I fall into faith, it echoes imaginary, almost ‘crazy’. The few times I have fallen into one half, or the other, I’ve ended up climbing back onto the fence because I miss the other side, because my mind or heart talks me back into being up there to consider again, both sides… each side seemingly jealous of the other, but neither seeming to be able to be lived in at the same time as the other. It makes no sense. Nothing makes sense to me anymore… and The Word resounds within me that I am not ‘home’ on planet earth, that earth is not a place of peace, it is a broken world and a heavenly yearning cannot be content in worldly hells. Does my mind only think that because I have read it? Or do others know something I don’t in that they seem so busy and content and active in what I perceive as such a broken world, where I cannot find ‘contentment’ without buy-ness to ignore my discontent, unless I’m sitting with God, then it is very peaceful and joyous indeed… the cycle ravages me: God, world, God, world, and desire for the best of both, whilst the negative of both slams me in highly inconvenient moments.

I look at the book I have quoted from, I couldn’t stop reading it. I was so engorged and entrenched in it that only the ache of my tired eyes could stop me from devouring it… But it was not a well written or sensible book. It lacked in so many areas and would never reach the hierarchy of the ‘royals’ of prizewinners on the literature list of school or University teaching material. The plot: A woman loved a man and she kept on loving him well, even though he kept on denying his heart for his own selfish reasons. He kept putting his own perspectives into her mind and assuming that they were ‘truth’, when they were so far from it. He pushed through in personal torment, using imaginary perceptions of her thoughts, without (not once) even speaking to her, or asking her to confirm his thoughts and reasonings … Still she carried on loving him, intrinsically unable to stop herself, through the pain and torment and knowing that the man who was rejecting her was the one she was meant to be with…

Me? What “empty spaces” did the story relate to? Many! Maybe why I kept on reading it was because I have a similar bizarre space about someone I once met… over 5 years ago… someone who also out rightly rejected me, three times. Peter and Jesus style. This is where the confusion comes in… I know he must know his mind, himself and what he wants and does not want, who he desires and who he does not desire… As someone who loves him, I need to respect that, it is the Christian thing to do… so why? Why would a Christian book go on sale (From R170 to R35! to fit my budget!) and from picking up the poorly written novel right to the end, I could not stop reading it? I could not stop the pain, the ache, the empathy with the leading lady and the emotions involved. Is it my own thoughts being so strong and deep that they ‘attracted’ this book from the Universe to reflect my thoughts back to me? Nothing to be done, but accept: I’m still ‘working through it’? Or is it the work of God, asking me to keep waiting, to keep loving, to keep letting my subconscious pray for a man I haven’t spoken to in over 5 years? I don’t know… I hate not knowing…

On a very different level, however, if I bring in my realistic thoughts: The leading lady was a beauty pageant winner, an heiress, mountains away from my reality. He was royalty, (nothing like the man I’m just literally stuck on) and all of the story was blatantly FICTIONAL… it makes no sense to me that their interactions, their moments, would resonate with me so very deeply that it would cause my entire being to meet the pain of loss and rejection I experienced over FIVE (even that number is the same as their separation time?!?!) years ago. Am I experiencing the damage created by hope? Is this all simply pathetic effort to think I was loved, may still be loved at the intensity and unconditional level that I experienced in myself? Can such fiction extend into non-fiction at all? Especially as I have never personally experienced such fictional mutual love in any non-fictional scenario? Or is God simply using this experience once again as a parable to show me how much He loves me, so much it aches; so much for all His children that He aches daily for all those He loves who reject Him so?

I know I think too much, I know I ask too many questions, I know that many have told me to just stop thinking and asking, to just ‘accept’; but accept what? How? I look, I see, I am amazed, I am blessed, this I do know and I have many moments in the knowing of these blessings, but then there are other moments, the challenging moments, the questions, the interactions and engagements that keep me pressing on to discover more, know more, be more and not lie dormant, letting all God blessed me with sit unexplored and turning to waste.

This week, a butterfly / moth has entered my classroom and left in 3 different lessons. In all my years of teaching, this has not happened; my God symbol has not flitted into my classroom. I have also recently been gifted with a gold four-leaf clover. I have even encountered his name TWICE in very important God moments recently…

And my mind shouts as me: It’s done, he didn’t feel anything for me. It’s only my imagination fueling this horrible nonsense, stop it! … and I don’t understand why I can’t stop it, why I can’t “change my thoughts”, “attract better people”, “Practice the Law of ‘The Secret’, the ‘Law of Attraction”. It feels like something far greater than me is at work. Still, I don’t understand why; after more than five years, the signs and symbols would intensify instead of fade away… I don’t know if it is God driving it, or my imagination attracting it. I don’t know if it is my own powerful mind keeping me a prisoner to something that happened so quickly, so suddenly and so overwhelmingly, so long ago, or if it is God’s Will, God’s footprints, God’s plan for a grand story, glorifying HIM and HIS perfect eternal planning and timing down to every minute detail…

The latter would be mind-blowing to see the end of; the former would be a rational, realistic course of action and result… So, does my mind really make the decision? Or is God sending me beyond insane-to-the-human-world, because that is where He exists, loving what doesn’t deserve to be loved, giving grace to what believes it is not worth His Grace, holding and keeping everything in the ‘insanity’ (by earthly construct and socialization) of unconditional Love?

All I know is that the heart ache, the pain, the longing, the confusion, the revisiting of what I haven’t been able to go beyond and get out of has been in full, overpowering, soul-wrenching force this last week – and it almost did me in; almost.

Lord, please, bring me to the end of the confusion. Help me stop thinking and just accept You and trust You, not this world. Please Father, please. Thank You Lord. Amen.

Easter Musing…

😉  It’s got me thinking… I love symbolism and deeper meaning. I find it fascinating that “The Crucifix”, a method of incredibly cruel and inhumane torture, which was predicted around 400 years before it was invented and practiced, should come to be a symbol of such peace, joy, purpose, contentment and most of all: Sacrificial Love. How, no matter the hell I go through, no matter the depth and intensity of my hassles and struggles, I too, with God’s Help, will rise again. Will rise above the circumstances; rise above the hurt and pain and challenges to grow into a better, stronger, closer-to-God-than-ever-before human being. “The Crucifix”, brings joy and hope today, after all the pain, trauma and horror that came before it. May this symbol touch your heart and increase your hope; may we all rise again (personally and collectively) to be better, stronger, kinder, more generous and more at peace in our hearts too, after we tackle the tough times, after we say “sorry”, whether we did or did not know what we were doing… Yes, the older I get, the more I have been through, the closer I get to knowing sacrificial love, the more I am beyond eternally grateful that I too can rise again and find rest and peace in the company, protection and provision of Our Father in Heaven. SO MUCH OF AWESOME! May Life and all her complexities continue, and never stop, molding us into higher versions of who we once were… yes, indeed, today has given me a lot to think about🙂 May you enjoy the holiday and family chocolate time in all the ways that make you know, love and be grateful for the love in your life too. Be blessed and know – YOU ARE LOVED! Happy Happy Easter🙂

It’s Actually about LOVE… religion smi-ligion

I recently had conversation with someone who is spending as much time and effort as he possibly can in researching “religions” and proving that “religions” are the biggest, most unhelpful, manly construct in the world, the impression I get anyway. A man who appears in many instances to live in head and information space and thus have an answer for most things, because his IQ is above genius (or so I have been told). Yet I get such a gut feeling that it was a case of his youth being very naturally in tune with God, then he went off course and is now collecting reasons not to believe… but it’s a rather unjustifiable feeling on my part as I barely know the guy … something along the lines of ‘the guy doth protest too much me thinks’. Then today, Easter Sunday, I watch a DVD on how we are fed children’s stories from the Bible when we are younger and how those stories often don’t help our faith when we are adults… hmmm…

The conversation started with discussing how busy life is and how tired everyone is. I mentioned that I had just watched another Andy Stanley DVD where he spoke of the Israelites coming out of Egypt as a slave nation and how they had been slaves 24-7, every day, 366 days a year. Then, when God set them free, He set it in law that they would have to have the 7th day off every week. Telling a 400 year old slave-driven nation that they have to take days off; because rest is important, must have been bizarre to them. The lesson: Trusting God to provide is important.

A third person mentioned that it really is an excellent idea to make sure you have a Sabbath Day every week. The first chap then went on into all the details he knows about Jewish Faith and how they can’t even turn on electricity on their Sabbath, which is true. I have a friend who works in a very fancy Bed & Breakfast and she says it is crazy how much they have to prepare and do beforehand for the Jewish customers. The conversation then went to Greek Orthodox as being the oldest of the Catholic Group. Apparently, there is also an ancient Ethiopian religious group too…

At this I said how awesome it is that God has truly been a constant presence. How amazing that over thousands of years God has remained, despite the influx in technology and the hundreds of generations that have passed. It is quite incredible. My remark then went on to bring about the comment and difference in opinion. His comment: “religion is the biggest source of conflict and war and killings in the world.”

To which I retorted, “No, man’s fear and need for power are the greatest source of conflict, war and killings in the world, not the Love of God. Not God and Love.”

He was vehement, “Killing and War are done in the name of Religion, for religion.”

“No, Killing and War are for man’s Fear and Power. “Religion” is just a label they put on it to justify themselves. It is not of God. Religion is a label.”

He continued, “It is for religion. Religion kills.”

“No, religion does not kill.”

We were interrupted at this point.

Should we have continued, my points would have too: Religion does not kill. Man kills. Man makes up reasons, justifies his selfish actions. Man knows it is wrong. Man knows that he has done something that he should not have done. But man is proud, man will not apologise, man must be ‘right’, and he will find reasons to justify his actions, even if he has to make them up; purely so that he does not have to apologise. Man does not choose God, Man does not choose what is at the heart of ‘religion’ (and most of them are based in the First Testament) THOU SHALT NOT KILL, NOR COVET, NOR PUT ANYTHING ELSE ABOVE GOD. God is LOVE. Thus MAN SHOULD NOT PUT ANYTHING ABOVE LOVE. Love does not kill; it cannot handle hurting another at all. Love abhors killing. Love will do anything to restore relationships. But man kills. Man does not know what true, unconditional, giving, apologising love is. Instead man runs on his own feelings, his own emotions, his own agenda, his desire to “Have More”, to “Get More”, to “Satisfy his bodily desire”, to “Do it himself”, to “Rely on himself”, to “apologise to no-one”, to “Always be in the ‘Right’”, to be and do everything that is contrary to trusting God and walking with God by admitting guilt, by accepting fault, by being true to Love. Why? Because man fears. He fears being ‘outdone’, he fears being ‘meaningless’, he fears ‘being wrong’. He fears ‘embarrassment’, he fears ‘this broken world’, he fears ‘death’, he fears ‘loss’, he fears “condemnation” (which means he hasn’t actually read The Book of the so-called ‘Religion’ that he is practicing and thus does not know that asking for forgiveness is the first and most important step to restoration and reconciliation) and everything else that shows he does not trust God. Jesus said to the lady who was caught committing adultery “I do not condemn you, go and sin no more.” Condemnation, guilt, pride, self-absorption, these are all of Man, not of Love of God.

If you have fear, if you have to kill, if you have to have power and ‘prove you are right’, justify that ‘you were in the right’, then you are not a person of God or “religious label”, you can’t be, because Love desires peace, not “to be ‘better’ than you”. Love desires to give, not “to have more”. Love desires openness, honesty and union, not hate, lies, secrets and separation. Love desires goodness, grace, integrity, humility, kindness, generosity and beauty not war, hurt, pain, power, greed, miserly behaviour, meanness, torture, nastiness and cruelty.

The heart of truth is in Holy Words, interpreted in the light, presence and practice of Holy Actions, or Holy Spirits, Hearts and Minds. Men driven by Lust, Greed, Power, Hurt, Fear and the like are not Holy, thus their interpretation of Holy Words will come out mangled, self-serving and disastrously twisted to make their own purposes met, and not the needs of the masses, of the poor, the down-trodden, the weak, or any of the purposes of LOVE.

No, “Religion”, like “Money”, is experientially defined. Experientially created. It can only have the meaning that an individual assigns to it. Get into FAITH, get into LOVE, get into the Holy Word, the goodness, the Love, then you can define things outside of ego and self. . . but that would take a miracle. That would take an incredible human being. One who does not live in Ego and Self. One who does not Fear or lack Faith, Goodness, Unconditional Love, Wisdom and PEACE. Someone who would say the words “FORGIVE THEM FATHER FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO” as He suffered one of the WORST forms of torture ever created to meet His Death. His Human Death. Then to rise again, eternal. No Ego, No Self. Only LOVE.

Thank-You Lord for Easter. Thank-You for LOVE. Thank-You that You created me for this very Journey, to live out these discoveries, have these conversations, think these thoughts. Thank-You that I do not have to fear anything. That I do not have to fight anyone. That I do not have to prove or justify any wrong actions with lies, deceit and weapons, because all I have to do is say I have sinned, please forgive me, and You hold me in joy and love as MY FATHER IN HEAVEN, keeper of my SOUL, Lover of all of me, happy to help me get up, get better and improve myself after each stumble and each learning curve. Thank-You for opening my eyes and lifting them up to You; and the only thing that is truth: I must Choose – Love or Fear every time. Let me choose Love. Help us all to choose Love, Lord, help us all know the incredible awesomeness of sacrificial LOVE, as You gifted it to us through all Your INCREDIBLE stories. Dear Lord, put me in Your Story, let me be in Your Story too.

The starring role of the story belongs to Jesus; may I do an incredible supporting actress role Lord, in whatever way You have chosen for me. So exciting!

Dear Lord, I pray on this AWESOME weekend of Easter, that You will help those who cannot see, who “do not know what they are doing.” To see, to know, to experience YOU, in YOUR amazing capacity. I pray that YOU will guide all of those who are searching so hard to replace You with “religion”, with money, with “hobbies”, with all the inconsequential “earthly consumerist” things they can find, to realise that they will not find love, hope, goodness, peace, satisfaction, comfort, consolation, contentment or anything of eternal and worthwhile value in anything but YOU. Let them find YOU, Choose YOU and come to KNOW YOU in ALL YOUR AWESOMENESS. I pray these things, I hope and dream of these things, in YOUR Amazing Name Dear Dear Lord. So much Love, Shannan. AMEN!

Stats as at…

Wow… so the years have gone by… guess it had to happen😉 I’m surprised I’ve lasted the haul and haven’t given up in boredom, or in the river of work that perpetually drowns me, like I often do. Still no feedback on those pass-it-on books as to where they all ended up, or if they are still in transit . . .  maybe, one day, I will find out, or see one … Car and flat sagas continue and, sadly, I totally lost interest in the Kindle Book I published, which was what instigated opening the avenue of this site and these blogs in the first place. Funny how somethings just dissolve into one’s history, somewhere far away…

So as things sit today … 36% of my views have happened on Saturdays, which is interesting.

25% of the views this site has had have been at 3pm… although the computer doesn’t tell me which country’s clock that is based on.

I’ve officially made 200 posts and this is 201.

The site has had 4898 views and 2060 visitors… um, I’m guessing the views are flashes through and not actually reading and the visitors actually read something?

This process continues to feed my fascination… one little person can reach everyone in the world… amazing!

Bring on these school holidays! Amen!

Be blessed $