Saturday Sabbath
I awoke dazily, took my time.
Baked delicious scones.
Journalled. Praying for my sore throat to go.
Checked WatsApp.
Made ginger, honey, lemon rooibos tea.
Read another chapter of Jo Saxton’s “The Dream of You”. So much of her life-story, her “loss of her voice”, resonates with me in my confusions over purpose and life.
Slept. Life in lock down has clearly exhausted me. Lunch time dozes are unheard of in my life. Sigh. Blessed to be able to chill for now.
Then it was back to studying “Boundaries” and learning about the “Laws of Boundaries”. Today was law #4 The Law of Respect. When someone else says they cannot, or won’t, do something, respect that within the context. If you respect others’ boundaries, they will respect yours. Such is the theory in the book anyway.
#5 Laws of Motivation. Why do you do the good you do? If it is for service first and freedom second, then you are most likely miserable… if your motivations for why you say “yes” to things look something like this:
Fear of losing love. Fear of abandonment. Fear of another’s anger. Fear of loneliness. Fear of losing the “good” you. Guilt. Trying to pay back for blessings you have received. Trying to win approval and/or acknowledgment. AND/OR Over-identifying with others loss…
Then you are most likely heading into bitter, resentful and depressed head space. Quote “if you serve to get free of your fear, you are doomed for failure.” (Cloud & Townsend)
You need to practise freedom first, and serving others after you are free of your fears. So I read.
#6 Law of Evaluation. You may be choosing not tell someone what is wrong and needs to be dealt with, if so, then that is when you need to evaluate your reasoning. If we don’t share our anger, hurt and pain with the other, then bitterness and hatred can set in. We need confrontations and truth to grow. Wisdom is learnt through pain, thus what can hurt can also help. Many times, choosing not to push into the hurt of challenging conversations causes more harm than anything else in the world could…
So went my studies today…
There were a lot of relevant points for me. I took them in and will try and apply them when the doors of challenge open up in my life.
After an afternoon of WatsApp messages, friends with ad hoc WiFi issues and phone calls and things to ponder… it was a difficult afternoon to process how incredibly unfair this earthly life seems. Things are thrown at so many people and they have to push through. A friend whose husband had his brain tumour return during this Corona madness and it is inoperable. Another friend with incredible children and her family barely have coins to rub together; her mothering decade has been spent trying to gather ways to home school her children without a coin to put towards it. Another friend who my heart breaks for, the number of tragedies and traumas she has faced over two decades it just makes no sense. My little winges, moans and self battles are NOTHING connected to what others face. I can, however, be grateful that there is one common factor between all four of us. God’s Grace and provision each day; uniquely, purposefully, personally and hopefully, without fail. To each of us, several mountains have been placed before us, and the darker our day, the greater the testimony. God stands beside each of us personally and completely. There is no self-pity, no cascading bitterness in any of the conversations with any of us. Only a laugh at the one branch of hope in the story, a smile of acknowledgment at the multitude of blessings received around the traumatic stories, and the light of courage that shines so inspirationally from the stories of these incredible people.
Tonight I salute all who walk in courage. Who seek and find the good, no matter what. I am in awe and blessed to see and know people who take such trauma and hardship with their hand in that of Our Father in Heaven. I pray miraculous healing where God’s Hand is sought, and a peace beyond human comprehension to show the Glory of The Life Force in us all. I pray that God gives all those in pain a good understanding of The Law of Evaluation, that more harm is created in dishonest silence than in honestly spoken truth. Amen!
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